Quickest way to change a heart.
The quickest way to change a heart is to look for, is to learn - is to see, the truth.
To have truth revealed to our hearts, our minds & unfolded to our understanding - we see, & thus look at, things differently. In that, our hearts are changed. Our very desires change, illuminated by the light of things as they really are (& as they really were & really will be).
Years ago, I had one of my first, very clear, teaching moments of this truth...
Here's the scene:
My front room, with my older baby boy playing contentedly with his baby toys.
In comes my big-energy, reaction-driven, production-oriented 3 year old son. They began playing very peacefully & happily with each other.
"They are playing so well together. I'll step into the next room for a moment & take care of ..."
I hear the baby start to cry...hard.
I turn & run to the rescue of my hurt baby, in anger & panic exclaiming to my three year old: "Why did you hurt him! He is just a baby!"
As I blurted out my reaction to this perceived injustice, my three year old just sat there & looked at me; wide-eyed & frozen.
He sat there staring at me.
I looked at him.
Then... something quietly, & so gently, came into my heart & mind.
I saw something. Rather, something was shown to me:
"He didn't mean to hurt him. He, was just playing with him."
In that instant, my heart immediately softened. "You mean, he didn't have some ill intent or desire to hurt this baby? He didn't actually mean to hurt him?" I felt so sorry for reacting ignorantly (I was ignorant of the truth), resulting in the manner in which I perceived & thus treated my son in this instant.
I tenderly looked at my three year old, fun-loving, huge-hearted, big energy son, & asked him:
"Did you mean to hurt your baby brother?"
To which, he sadly shook his head "no". He then went on to tell me, he was just playing with him. My "rough & tumble" 3 year old wasn't aware that he was being too rough. I saw the honesty of his reply, of his sweet love & of his (BIG energy) goodness. I immediately apologized to my son.
(Here they are together a couple of years ago, posing as fire-fighters. :)
Now, the funny thing is, even in seeing this, I had this thing in the back of my mind to deny this truth I had just been given to see, thinking he could be lying, & thus continue on believing in, & reacting to, this in anger - to "the bad", that I perceived about him & his intention. But, I choose to give it no heed.
I chose to believe in the truth. I then simply taught my son that he need to play more gently, where he has such big energy, & how he could do this with his baby brother... whom he loved SO much. ;)
However much he learned, I know I was the one that learned the most that day.
This "touch of Grace" that I was given, began to change my heart & thus who I was, in some very intrinsic & fundamental ways. As I began to see him differently - in the light of truth, my heart & thus my responses with him changed. I still had a choice though, just as we each do. When I chose the truth, I had it's beautiful fruits. If I didn't, I would have had those fruits. I prefer the first. I am still such a work in progress though. That in and of itself teaches me profound truths, in this gift of what parenting truly is.
Let us be willing to look... & thus see things, as they really are. Let us seek to know & gain understanding or comprehension of the truth. It really does set us free from the bondage of our own fear/falsity-based perceptions, preconceived ideas & reactions. And thus, all those around us with whom we have been given...entrusted, to influence.
(Go to "Gain sight: Look" for the 3rd & final part in this LONG blog post :)
