Our "job "is to love them.
I read a blog post some time ago about brain scientist, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who had a stroke that changed her life and her work. The stroke damaged the left side of her brain, left her without language, & extremely sensitive to the energy of others around her; especially the nurses that cared for her – like a baby in a woman’s body. Dr. Taylor credits her remarkable and full recovery largely to one person: her mother.
Though she didn’t recognize her mother, or even know what a mother was, “all I knew was this very loving, kind, generous spirit wrapped herself around me and just took ownership of loving me–and that was the new beginning.”
What a compelling definition of our roles as parents, from a child’s perspective: “took ownership of loving me.” As well as the simple declaration… “THAT was the new beginning”.
How powerful & telling this simple statement is.
This is the new beginning.
Let's begin again, now.
Just as parenting today requires much of us, so does being a child today, require much of them. As we gain the understanding & real-life skills to fulfill our roles - in truth, & thus in strength & in true power, we can begin to really help our children, & each other as spouses, to meet the challenges & fulfill their roles, in this same light, power & true strength.
That is exactly what we are talking about, when we talk of learning & teaching self-government in our homes; it goes way beyond merely transforming unwanted, destructive behavior, to gaining the understanding & real-life skills we need to finally break down barriers with our loved ones, & create the lasting heart-connections, joyful relationships & the home environment we each really want, & truly are seeking, with the often times misdirected goal of our actions.
Here is some "food for thought"...
When we think of the heart, we rightly think of love. But what does “love” mean? We can say we love our children, or our spouse, & yet treat them worse than we treat the dog in the back yard.
So, what does “love” really mean?
A few years ago, I was asked to give a public address, on what turned out to be, the subject of love. We understand, at least in part, that love is more than a sentiment; much more than a “mere emotion”. But, trying to define love, is best accomplished not by trying to define it, but by seeing it; even more, feeling it; in action.
We learn love by being loved & loving in return. Unfortunately, for many of us, our fundamental education in this department, is lacking to say the least, & grossly distorted at worst. This is not about blame. There is no point in playing that game. We are all only doing the best with what we know & with what we have – up to this point, that is. (Needless to say – hence the profound need, & yes, the accountability today, in our own hearts & homes, for our learning a better way.)
In preparing for this talk I mentioned above, I read an account of love that struck me – not because it was a huge, grandiose display of compassion, affection or altruism, but because it resulted in my making a clear connection in my own heart & mind; seeing & understanding something I had not before. This simple, but vital connection would come to be a most significant part of the very foundation of my own life, my marriage & my parenting.
The experience was a simple, yet heart-felt recollection of a son at his father’s funeral. He simply said, “He saw the Christ in everyone & acted accordingly”. I realized in that moment, what love, in the most real-life sense, truly means...
“Love, is to see the truth of another & act accordingly”.
(UPDATE 5/16/2017: Watch & listen to this beautiful song from a beautiful couple, on this. "I see Him" by Joey + Rory)
That is our "job", & what we so very, very much MUST learn, & begin to do, as the individuals, couples & parents of today. It is what is required of us, & what our children, our spouses & in fact, all we come in contact with, need. This is something that is so innate to us, yet we have learned such contractions, seen such falsity & taken such lies to heart, that it is often times seemingly impossible. “Seemingly” being the key word there.
It is not only possible for us to learn a better way, but the means to do so, being as close, as innate, & as intrinsically a part of us, as is our own heart beat. It is a privilege, entrusted to us. It, truly is, a gift.
Let us begin to seek, to learn & to choose the truth - let us learn HOW to truly love; how to truly love them better; how to truly fulfill our role in their lives.
Let us truly learn to live & love. It is time. That fact, is self-evident.
Take care & may God bless you & yours in this grand endeavor.
